A Trip To Visit My Nonna

This past weekend I took a quick trip to visit my family in Sicily. They think I am going to see them but really, it’s the almond cookies (paste secche) and granita with brioche that call me back.  My nonna passed away a few years ago and I have not had the opportunity to visit her grave. Although it may seem morose, sharing some information on Italian cemeteries might be interesting, as the practices have many similarities due to shared Catholic faith, yet there are noteworthy differences due to cultural practices.

 

The local cemetery where my grandparents are buried is mostly cement. There is little grass beyond weeds breaking through the cracks. The first stop is to purchase fresh flowers, I picked out a few simple roses for my grandparents. As we walked to the burial site my aunt explained how there is limited space, and the government allows for the in-ground burial sites to be modified and expanded over time. The mausoleums here are all in the open. Because of the concrete and the changes in elevation it is sometimes challenging to determine which areas are considered in-ground and which is a mausoleum.

 

There are many family crypts that can be seen, which you might mistake for small chapels. This is often the burial location for families who have enough funds to build and maintain the building. Here is where I learned an interesting difference regarding Italian cemetery practices. Once a grave has been in use for a number of years, the grave can be reopened and the bones placed into an ossuary (or small bone box) and another family member can be entered into the grave site. This occurred in our family a few years ago when an aunt suddenly died. Although it sounds strange, it is a way for family members to remain together in the cemetery, particularly in geographic regions with little space. For families who have crypts, many generations can be buried in the same location.

Funeral practices are also different. The wake is typically held at the person’s home and a vigil maintained until the funeral. The announcement is shared by posters around the neighbourhood, which include a picture and obituary details. The body of the deceased person does not follow the same preperation practices as in Canada, and although the casket is traditionally open it is covered with a plastic, see-through cover so that everyone can say their final goodbyes. When neighbours visit the home to pay their respects, they often bring a small food item to share with the family and other visitors as well as prayer cards and flowers. The funeral is held very soon after the death, usually within two.

The sacrements we share and the burial rites we maintain help bring us closer to God and provide consolation in difficult times. These practices are there to support the grieving family members, to give comfort and to help us recall Christ’s promise. When someone we love passes away these burial rites working with our cultural traditions help us connect with our faith as well as those around us, sharing our beliefs and recalling memories. In some way the love for the people we cared for still lives on in us. Seeing my grandparents grave gave me comfort, they were people of great faith, and that continues to live on in the generations that they helped create.                                                                 By Melinda.